So proud of my Country

Note: This is a satire, and any reference made is imaginary!

How many times have you seen people whining about our brilliant homeland? Well, let us prove them wrong! How about we start our travel with travelling in our country? I believe that our country has the best traffic in the world. It is confirmed by ITRRFDO (International Traffic Rules and Regulation Followers in Descending Order) that Pakistan stood on number one globally with a tiny lead over Bangladesh. Rest of the nations had their hats fell down when looking at our ranking; we are on the peak. The experienced chief minister of Sindh put forward an open challenge recently to the world “I challenge any skilled driver from any developed country to come and drive in the roads of Karachi, especially from Ayesha Manzil to Saddar in the evening. My challenge is never based on the Urdu proverb which translates as “every dog is lion in its street”; rather it is a time-honored truth. No matter how much experience they have, or even many have participated in international races, which Pakistanis imagine only of by the Nescar Race video games; those drivers can never understand our rules.  They will sooner or later quit, faint or may be pass away on the way. At the end, it is not any joke; it is the land of winners, and it is driving in the best country of Pakistan”.

Alhamdulillah, Pakistan is an Islamic country, and we try our best to follow Islam in every second we spend and of course, we follow Islamic rules in our traffic. We have never believed in lanes because it creates distance, and our culture, religion and traditions have always taught us unity. This is the reason that there has never been any gap between two vehicles as well. People in other countries keep a big distance from the car in the front to avoid accidents, but we are not cowards; we are Mards. This series of unity sometime leads us to some narrow streets or squares where we have to stop for a while, but we stay there forever. A motorcycle rider can easily get off, step into a Rikshaw and climb a bus just to offer Salam to a friend. There is nothing to worry about at all, the traffic wouldn’t interrupt and no ladder needed either because we move shoulder to shoulder. The traffic does not move for hours, but we do not care because we like to be together and what is a better place than this to discuss religion and politics? SubhanAllah! Is there any nation which is such patient as Pakistan who waits around for hours sitting in Rikshaws and Qinqis relying on Chalia and Paan only?

Purity or cleanliness makes half of the Imaan, but we have a good philosophy of the traffic pollution. People think that we do not believe in Darwin’s theory, but I think we do! We love pollution because it makes our respiratory system very strong. We use our respiratory system’s filter 1000 times more than it needs to be used because the more you use an organ, the most it develops just like the neck of a giraffe. Now, can a person from UK compete with any Pakistani if both are put in a harshly polluted area? Furthermore, we also have the prayers and support of our molvis who usually drive a torn-silencer motor cycle. Our tremendous idea of believing in modern biology makes my lungs pump up. Moreover, we are also blessed with sound pollution. Horn sound is like an unnoticed music for us. What adds up is when the trumpet of Ambulance gets louder and the person says the lyric “Get out of the way for God sake, we have patient in critical situation”.  Since the dance floor is so full and everybody is moving with the beats, these lyrics go unheard. Our doctors usually appreciate this music the most. We are fun loving country and fond of music.

Most countries claim that there is gender in equality in Pakistan and women do not get their rights. How wrong and disrespectful our enemies are? I believe that no doubt there is gender inequality but women are more privileged than men. Take the example of women in the majlis of traffic jam; they are all covered in black. They have a very well dust safety over their mouths and most women wear glasses which makes them total dust proof. What do poor men have, except spitting Tulsi and Chaalia on the wheels of neighboring vehicle?  Zainura Bibi expresses her gratitude and excitement for being a proud Muslim woman “Non Muslims and Kafirs think that women are not valued in Muslim countries, but that is not true. We have a complete black hijab covering which stops any external particle to irritate us during slow traffic. We can see whatever we want to see through our black sunglasses. This is a big slap on the faces of people who are against hijab”. “We also enjoy the hot weathers of Karachi in black dress, there is shifa from Allah” she added. These brave women are pride of our nation.

Finally, the civil police which we pompously name as conductors take over the situation and start controlling the traffic. After a struggle of few more hours, the traffic starts moving. Everybody feels bad to be leaving, but they are happy that it happened rather than cry to be departing.  The traffic is further slowed down by some entrepreneurs who have extended their dry fruit, coconut and cigarette business to the middle of the roads. Nobody would object on that, because we encourage small businesses. When we move a bit forward, the traffic might stop to watch some street cricket. After every over, the wickets are taken away and the traffic moves. Everybody enjoys it because we are cricket loving nation.

Do you wonder if our politicians and “bare log” enjoy all this? The answer is No, because our leaders never want to snatch the rights of a common man. They have their own easy exit without all this fun.

I am sure there need to be any more reasons required to be proud of our country. We have given so much to this country, and I pray to Allah that may these traditions and the love and unity among people never get dim and there be no changes in our traffic system so that our coming generation have the honor to see what we have to give them as a present; A country we are really proud of!!